Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Remember The Heart

Ok so we've become totally liberated from our old paradigms. We no longer cling to superstitious nonsense or needless attachment, we've fully learned how to let go. Where does that leave us? This is a question i've asked over and over in one form or another, and i have yet another possible way to answer it.

Deconstructing ourselves in this way isn't liberation from anything. We're only making a confused mess of ourselves. We must find some way to orient ourselves between the inner and outer worlds. Once we see that there's something beyond normal tangible reality, we have to take that next step and determine what that is. Most people, including myself, get stuck in between these two points. How can we verify anything beyond what we can experience? You can't, but when we get stuck like this it's because we're unclear how to go about experiencing this inner world.

The Heart is our divine kernel, our gateway to the infinite. Our ability to reason is inconsequential next to the infinite nature of Spirit. So we have to have certain built in value structures and compulsions, in order to really embody the divine. It goes far beyond a "built in value structure" though. Since our very nature is divine, is infinite, we can never be totally isolated. All those aspects of existence that are beyond our comprehension are a part of us, we simply can't grasp them with our reasoning mind. The Heart is an intuitive sense. It is our perception of the quality of the universe. When we look inward we see that there is another type of reality. One that isn't substantial, but all the more important for that reason. Because we can't quantify the nature of Love or Hope... that doesn't mean they aren't real.

We have to move beyond our reasoning mind. Even more pertinent we have to move beyond our own deconstructed existence. Take a step outside the void. If you look inward you can sense those deeper more subtle layers of existence but they will never be laid bare for our intellect. We have to refine our ability to perceive with the heart. I think as we do this the overemphasis we place on external reality will fall away and be put into balance with the internal. The Heart is our bridge between these two worlds, just as we are that same bridge from a larger perspective. Humanity is juxtaposed between outer and inner. It is our Duty and our Destiny to bring these two worlds together. Our Gift is this capacity to become fully realized, to be a perfect expression of reality. We also stand at the pinnacle of Kosmic achievement(at least as far as we can tell) and the very reason we are at this precipice is this merger of two worlds lies within our domain.

This inevitable union has been placed in our hands. I believe that would fully explain the difficulty we all seem to experience in coming to terms with our reality. A reality made up of two distinct planes and the only contact they have is within us. This is not to say spirit does not come in contact with the physical world, on the contrary the two aren't separated enough to use the term contact. What i speak of as separated is a realized existence within these two worlds. That is our great task and great privilege

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

It's been a while...

This isn't a subject i would normally talk about but something that has really caught my attention recently is how much life changes as you make a transition from childhood to being an adult.

There's so many things you begin to be aware of, that you as a child would never have given a second thought. You know i've been reading a great blog here in the integral community called Freedom, Flexibility, and Flow. One post links to a blog entry giving a summary of the various how to be wealthy books out there.... In the bookstores i've never even glanced twice at them... but when is started browsing this post and realized there was some useful information to be gained, i became very fascinated. What i'm getting at is that i'd have never begun to imagine (even 2 years ago) that i would have any interest in reading about financial strategies. Yet there i was enraptured thinking "i could do that, i could do that" You know as a testament to how much positive thinking plays a role, once i realized from reading that article that it was alot easier to begin financial planning than i could have imagined, i have had minor success in starting the process, enough to notice a difference anyway.

That's only once example among many. Another major example would be my concern over "settling down" and having children. The idea is very attractive to me these days. I've always known i wanted children, but it seemed to far off to be an issue. Now i'm worried that if i wait to much longer, i'll be to old to enjoy them as adults. But also shouldn't i travel and focus on my career for a while? It's problems like this that seem to occupy my time these days, and i don't quite know what to make of it.

More than anything i worry about my level of self sufficiency. When i was 19 i thought nothing of my mother helping me financially, now when that happens i feel guilty about it. I used to hate going to work, but i've become so concerned with making sure that i maintain a stable life style that i wouldn't miss work if i had any choice at all.

So these are my growing pains. I thought i would share them with everyone. This for me is a major part of my "spiritual" development. I've realized in the last year or two that living my life as well as i can will be more fulfilling to me than any spiritual discipline i could adopt. So although i still pursue my spiritual goals in order to find peace of mind, make enough sense of the world to take action, and gain wisdom about the nature of reality, i realize this is only a means to and end... not the goal itself.